Friday, October 21, 2011

denial.

I'm going to admit it.  I've been in denial for a few days about a cancer diagnosis for one of my students at school.

I love her, she's just precious.  She's been with me since her freshman year, and is now a senior.  I'm heartbroken for her and her family, because it's not going to be an easy fight.

I've been thinking for several days...they must be wrong.  I'm going to get an email update any day now, saying Oops!  We were wrong, it's just the flu. 

That email isn't coming.

I accepted that today, when I stood in the book aisle of the Dollar General, picking out a Lisa Frank coloring book (because who doesn't love coloring Lisa Frank?) and giant box of crayons to stick in her care package.  And started to cry.

I cried for the unjustness and the unfairness, and yes, even for selfish reasons too, like that completely helpless feeling.  And believe me, there's nothing that brings reality crashing home like crying in the dollar store while picking up grape soda and toilet paper.  

She knows I love her.  I take comfort in that for now.

15 comments:

  1. I know the feeling. A really good friend who also sews just got a diagnosis of ovarian cancer. It sucks.

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  2. I am so sorry for this family and you. Sending prayers your way.

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  3. Hugs hugs and more hugs. I will keep her and her family in my thoughts and prayers. Hang in there.

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  4. How sad. I pray for your student, her family and you.

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  5. Life delivers some heartbreaking blows. Those serious illnesses remind us of how precious life is, and a lesson to live it the best we can. Blessings to her and all who love her.

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  6. I'm sorry to hear that Angie. It is heartbreaking when a bad diagnosis is given to someone so young. I hope that she comes out of it stronger.

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  7. Thinking of you and your student x

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  8. I recognise this sense of utter helpnesness when someone gets a diagnosis like this, and there is very little you can do to help... An ipod full of different kinds of music meant the world to one of my colleagues, a church organist and composer, who spent a long time in hospital. It came back when he was discharged but already he is utterly grateful that he can borrow it again when he has to go in again for stem cell treatment.

    Sometimes these small things can mean more than anything. I wish you all the best in coping with this and supporting your student.

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  9. I'm so sorry. ((((Hugs))))

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  10. There really are no words - I'm sorry for you and for your student and her family. Sending all the good prayers I have her way. g

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  11. I'm so sorry, Angie. :(

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  12. All the best wishes for your student. She is lucky she has people like you around, who so deeply care about her!

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    Kisses!
    http://modacapitalblog.com

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